Busy...

Today I am going to talk about being busy, yes I am back at work, so far its dinnertime and I have just about completed sorting out my despatches, we had a No1 record day last Thursday with 175,200 despatched, although these are not all sales some are merely being moved to another site to give us more room.
Its also AA tonight, and well I aint been for TWO weeks so I guess I am ready for a meeting, as you might have guessed I was asked by The Ice Queens little sister "Switch" to be a chauffeur for her wedding on Saturday, you see that is the fate of us AA guys we become useful as drivers when everyone else wants to get out of there head.
Of course I have done a special DVD of everything I did over the Easter Holiday, well I say everything I didnt include the decorating, just Deers Foot IV, our camping expidition on Wed/Thurs, The Wedding on Saturday, Our trip to Robin Hoods Grave on Friday night and finishing the week off by building a rope swing yesterday.
Really it was a action packed Easter despite the weather but it is nice also to get back into the routine and stop spending money.
This afternoon I will finish off my despatches, sort out my emails, sort the sample requests and make a start at all the invoices, I doubt I will have much time for writing the new Jungle Telegraph or my essay to accompany the DVD.
I feel ok, a little tired still from driving about in the early hours of Sunday morning, still it reminded me once again that I am thankful that I dont drink, you dont realise just how annoying drunk people are till you take them home in your car, I am glad I am not a taxi driver!

Switches Wedding

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Having A Good Easter

So far my Easter has been well action packed, I am a little tired today because we spent last night in the woods with Uncle Rimmer, Stig, Luke, and Buttercup plus her friends (Hermanie and Nettle).
It wasnt the best of weather with drizzle and the place we found in the middle of the woods near "Deers Foot" was a river bed a month or so back, so was quite muddy.
Nevertheless we managed to enjoy a curry made on the camping stoves by Buttercup and her two friends and it was very tasty, of course this episode will spawn another of my little stories and a DVD of our camera footage.
Prior to last night I have been real busy decorating my bedroom, it looks lovely now, this of course meant my computers were off for a while, it took ages to get it all set back up again, with surround sound speakers, all the ethernet cables needing theading under the carpet, but I had a bit of help from Luke and his little brother Stig.
My bedroom was in such disarray on Monday that I missed AA, I didnt realise just how much "stuff" I had anyway a trip to B&Q bought me a number of shelves for all my huge collection of books, DVD's and VHS Videos.
I am aching all over and will be glad to get back to work for a rest, I feel good though, you know the saying a change is as good as a rest, well I guess glued to the computer screen 24/7 means when I get away for a bit its hard to switch one back on.
My Sponsor says I spend too much of my life on the computer and my entire social life revolves round it, anyway tonight I am in my lovely new bedroom, Luke is watching that depressing soap called "Eastenders" and Stig is thinking up some more stuff to do, he likes to keep me busy, well I will see you guys later, thanks for all the comments!!!

The Meaning Of Existence

Its Easter at last and what a lovely drive to work it was this morning with not much traffic, I have just gorged myself on an enormous fish from the local fish & chip shop and have finished off my stock taking so I should have a lovely peaceful afternoon to ponder the meaning of life which afterall is what Easter is supposed to represent.
Rebirth, yes, thats what we who are addicted do we need a total rebirth, and I guess before our jumping off point when our addiction was reaching the stage where it was threatening our existence, we were a rudderless ship in a huge empty ocean. Why then did we lack any direction, in my case it was because I had no beliefs.
Religeon totally contradicts Science and I had obtained a Physics degree and could see with the huge mountain of blind equations that there was no room for a God, hence it didnt matter really what I did with my life and since alcohol made me feel good I might as well as drink it, I was going to die anyway and my body would rot away into nothingness, my mind dissapear into a dreamless sleep.
I am still not religeous in the sence that I believe there is a old man in the sky watching our every move but AA step three requires we give our lives over to some concept of a higher power, we then have someone to steer our ships while we do the rowing.
All my life up to 2004 was cold and dark intellectualising of the world with glorious equations, but there was a part which didnt fit into this pattern and this was my Near Death Experience in 1990 when I managed to get 33% third degree burns on my body while sniffing petrol.
Gradually over time my belief has left the religeous straitjacket and my physics training has drifted from the cold mechanistic universe which is what most physicists are comfortable with, indeed many of the prominent physicists have no problem with the existence of a "super mind" like an ocean which our consciousness is merely ripples on its surface.
Physicists indeed in the last 20 years or so have moved into science fiction arena with 11 dimensional multiverses which our huge universe is merely a tiny tiny portion, infinite numbers of parallel universes to play out and explain quantum mechanics, strings, superstrings and branes, dark matter, dark energy etc...
My beliefs will never be set in stone but I do believe there is a whole multitude of worlds out there which our physical plane is the bottom rung of the ladder with regards to developing minds, and in thse worlds which are more composed of energy than matter (which is really energy anyway ref E=mc2) there is a whole hierachy of minds astronmically more powerful than ours.
God could be seen as the ultimate state of mind, the mind that is the basic fabric of the universe and brought matter in as a kindergarden to evolve other minds such as ours, this God is my higher power, well maybe I might be reporting to one of his liutenants!
Most importantly having a concept of higher power stops me from acting like well a man with no morals, it makes me want to help others even if it is for the good feeling, the natural antidepressant this gives me and it stops me from wanting to escape from reality using chemicals.
So I now live my life one day at a time and it might not seem like it with all that I have just said above but in this world I live in now, it makes my brain hurt to try and follow what the latest superstring theories tell us so ill leave that to people who are good with all the equations and maths and those who have a phenomenal imagination.
So thats where I am now and I did warn you all yesterday that I would be talking about the meaning of life today, but I doubt if I have left you more enlightened because my beliefs are personal to me and my path, everyone in AA has there own concept of a higher power which achieves the aim of giving there ship a rudder in the huge ocean of life!
Have a happy Easter ill pop in again on Monday.

This is our electrician at the Lost world called Gandalf as he was finishing last years London Marathon, he will be accompanying us on the three Yorkshire Peaks like he did last year.
He even showed us where an old roman fort was but no one was really interested, he has been a bit depressed just lately because our assistant manager Alf got cross with him about some switches he had fitted which were causing problems.
Yesterday I went to see the bloke he works with, fellow electrician called "Turkey", at first he declined to comment but further interagation I managed to get the following dialogue..
"Hes a strange bloke"
"Who is Gandalf or Alf"
"Well I was talking about Gandalf, my mate but they both are really".

The brand new "Bradley Telegraph" is now ready for distribution as well, I hope it goes down as well as the first issue 2 weeks ago and despite taking the proverbial out of all my friends and family I didnt even get beat up, so I thought what the hell Ill have another go at annoying them.
Well Oswald isnt in a good mood with me today, Barbie Feet our Health & Safety advisor is up here at the lost world talking about "Confined Spaces" and I merely made the simple observation that surely what is defined as a confined space should be in referance to the size of the person who is in it, for example if Barbie feet is in a certain area and he is only little with Size 2 feet it may not be confined however if Oswald Cobblepot goes in there he could be redefined as a confined space.
Oswald didnt take this analogy too kindly and I ended up confined under my desk while he came over to see if he could fit his fist in my mouth.
We are working tommorow but we have got Monday and Tuesday off as stats, which means to book all week off I only need use 3 of my annual days, though this week the weather doesnt look too promising therefore it looks like I will probably be decorating.
So well I guess ill see you guys all tommorow when I might ponder the questions that has plagued mankind for generations such has "Why are we here", "Whats the point of life", "How did the Universe start"...

Looking Back

Wednesday dinnertime, halfway through the week and nearly my easter break, I remember Easter 2000, I had just moved into a new flat and here is an extract from my diary at that time, which can be viewed by clicking here

At two-thirty Saturday morning, in Bradley, I awoke clutching a pillow to my chest, calling out to anyone in the darkness. The anguished and haunted quality of my own voice had shaken me from my sleep. Dreams fell from me not all at once but in trembling veils, as attic dust falls off rafters when an house rolls with an earthquake.
When I realized that I had no one in my arms, I held the pillow anyway. I had come out of the dream with the scent of some nebulous woman. Now I was afraid that any movement I made would cause the memory to fade and leave me with only the sour smell of my night sweat.
Inevitably no weight of stillness could hold the memory in all its vividness. The scent of this woman's hair receded like a balloon rising, and soon it was beyond my grasp.
Bereft, I got up and went to the nearest of two windows in my flat which I always leave open. My bed which consists of nothing but a holy mattress on the floor, is the only furniture so I did not have to be concerned about stumbling over obstructions in the gloom.
My flat is one large room with a kitchenette, a sick-hole, and a cramped bedroom set above some mindless, crazy old woman's flat at Stutely Groove, Bradley.
I had brought very little furniture to my new secret location, because dead men need no such comforts...
I have come here it seems.. to die .
For four months I have been paying the rent, waiting for the morning when I would fail to wake.
My window once faced the mostly happy community of Bradley where children would happily play the games that children play but now it was all fast asleep. To the west the fat moon glimpsed through the trees, a silvery promise beyond the bleak urban woods.
I was surprised that I was still not dead after all this time.. I was still not alive, either. Somewhere in between perhaps like many sad soul has had to experience when their mind is in the final stages of Sellers Disease. I have to find an ending, because for me there could never be any going back.
Alter fetching an icy can of beer from the refrigerator in the kitchenette, I returned to my holy mattress and sat with my back against the wall...
Beer at two-thirty in the morning.. A sliding -down life.
I wished that I was capable of drinking myself to death.. If I could drift out of this world in a numbing alcoholic haze, I might not care how long my departure required (Written Easter 2000)

Brings back memories, it was a further 4 years 5 months before I surrendered to alcoholism during that thime I lost the job I had at Sellers, had some sort of mental breakdown, tried controlled drinking, somehow got another job at Flinstones Park which was the prequel to where I am now, fought a court battle to see my son Luke, was arrested a couple of times and left the flat and moved to my parents which is where I am now.

So much pain, so much anguish it was among my last entries in 2000 before I went quiet until Easter 2004 which by that time things had got so bad that I started writing again just to gain an outlet for my exploding emotions, you can read the full account called Nervous Breakdown here but Ill just look back at this extract

Its nearly two weeks ago since Del-boy our sales director dropped me off at my house with the accompanying statement “don’t fackin come back till you have seen your fackin GP!” I wasn’t capable of driving my Ford Focus after getting a little lost and disorientated following one of my frequent panic attacks.
As I wonder along my favourite stretch of canal for the thousandth time after being prescribed a dose of anti-depressants and told to stay well clear of any alcohol for the rest of my life I turn into witches wood where I met The Magic Pixie long ago with my insane friends. I sit on my little hill and stare into space – thoughts run through my head like the misty clouds rolling across the blue sky, in the distance the motorway assures me that life goes on regardless of my existence on this planet.

It was the first of two occasions when I was taken back home after getting drunk in the field at work and it was my last stand before the last run to the bitter end when in September 2004 I finally completed Step 1, the rest they say is history.

I dunno what brought that on, sometimes its good just to take a peak at where you came from, see you tommorow

Im A Drip

Oswald Cobblepot called me a "drip" today when I told him that last night Veras completely ignored me, I guess she has got bored of trying to get my attention and has decided well its no longer worth the trouble.

It was a really sad meeting, the lady who was sharing has got terminal cancer and everyone was sharing back refering to her in the past tense.

In fact once again when I came home I felt more depressed than when I went there but I did admire the way those in the AA lifeboat ralied round her, I feel far on the fringes of the lifeboat.

I just dont have a clue when it comes to talking to anyone, I guess that is the way it is, I dont feel scared of death though, I have that in common with the lady who was sharing, though I know its easy to say that when you aint got The Grim Reaper looming large before you, I really mean it.

Eighteen years ago I believe I visited the afterlife, I tried to tell my story about it here in the story Life After Death, but I dont think you can really capture a Near Death Experience using words.

Well its Tuesday already and Easter is approaching rapidly but so far the predictions with regards to the weather dont look good, some are predicting snow for next week which is why I didnt book a camping expidition at a campsite but just pencilled in a possible night or two in the woods.

I was supposed to be going to Lukes parents evening last night with The Ice Queen but when I phoned her up this morning she said that its not a simple job you have to make appointments with half a douzen seperate teachers which is no good to us, back at his last school all the teachers sat behind desks in the hall and as soon as someone was free you sat at there desk.

I have also started work on The Bradley Telegraph Issue No2 after the huge popularity round our way of Issue 1 and I will leave you with some jokes that I decided not to put in it...

"Darling," she whispered after they had finished making love, "Will you still make love like that to me after we're married ?" He considered this for a moment, and then replied, "I think so.
I've always been especially fond of married women."

Why is it so hard for women to find kind, sweet,sensitive men in this world? Because they already have boyfriends!

Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket.

Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, "This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny."
He walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny that you have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the other?"
Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread Father."

Whateva Floats Yer Boat

This year is the year when Oswald Cobblepot is getting rebuilt, he will become more machine than human with a new bionic hip fitting and a new chip implant in his brain that will have 16 cores opposed to the old Pentium I chip in there now.
By this time next year Oswald Cobblepot will no longer hobble about, he will be a fully fledged cyborg who will be able to dance to "The Timewarp" in the office.
I dont know why I called this post "Whateva Floats Yer Boat", it was something someone said to me over the weekend and I thought it was quite funny.
Well its Monday here at The Lost World and I have had another good weekend, after watching Stig playing football Sunday morning (he actually scored a goal while we were there!) we built a bonfire in my backgarden to get rid of masses of rubbish which had collected but I think I put a bit too much plastic on there since the black smoke was choking the neighbourhood.
The King Of The Potatoe People is having a few problems in his neighbourhood as well since the council want him to pull the dillapidated shed he has constucted at the side of his house down, he persuaded me to write him a letter to the council explaining he had been very ill lately and had therefore let it go to pieces.
Also this weekend it was Lukes youngest brother; Mr Fibbles 1st birthday so he, Stig and Mr Poppel were delivered and picked up from The Ice Queens mansion Saturday afternoon, since The Ice Queen (my ex) has got with her latest stable Boyfriend The Russian Spy she really has become a lot more amiable as a person.
When I was back in my drinking days I racked up a £1500 solicitors bill fighting for "contact" to see Luke, and we didnt speak to each other except by expensive £10 each solicitors letters, now 4 years into sobriety I went round and dropped Luke etc off at her palace and was invited in to share there sarnies and I bought Mr Fibble a birthday cake.
When the promises explain about a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams, they dont mean external things like money and a rich exotic lifestyle in a foreign country, its that internal wellbeing that it speaks of and that is what I get brief glipses of now.
Yes in referance to my last post the devil will have to keep waiting, well its AA tonight and if JMD texts me Ill take him without question but if he dont ill be going alone, you never know I might even talk to Veras tonight!

The Demon Waiting...

I am your Disease
I hate Meetings
I hate higher power
I hate anyone who has a Program.
To all who come into contact With me I wish you death and I wish suffering.
Allow me to introduce myself I am the disease at addiction cunning baffling and powerful that’s me, I have killed millions and I am pleased I love to catch you with the element of surprise, I love pretending I am your friend and lover.
I have given comfort have I not, wasn’t I there when you were lonely.
When you wanted to die didn’t you call me and I was there.
I love to make you hurt and.
I love to make you cry, better yet I love it when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry, you can’t feel anything at all and this Is true glory
I will give you Instant gratification and all I ask Is long term suffering.
I’ve been there for you always, when things were going right in your life you invited me, you said you didn’t deserve these good things and I was the only one who would agree with you.
Together we were able to destroy all the goods things In your life.
People don’t take me seriously but they take Strokes seriously, Heart Attacks. Diabetes, Aids, Sclerosis, Coma’s, Psychosis, they take those things seriously fools that they are, and they don’t know without my help none of these things would be possible.
I’m such a hated disease and yet I do not come uninvited you choose to have me.
So many have chosen me over reality and peace.
More than you hate me.
I hate all of you who have a 12 Step Program.
Your Program, your Meetings, your Higher Power they all weaken me and I can’t function In the manner I am accustomed to.
Now I must lie here quietly.
You don’t see me, but I am growing bigger than ever.
When you only exist I may live, when you live I only exist.
But I am here and until we meet again if we meet again.
You choose.

Mag Covers

Going clockwise from the far left, meet the men in the lost worlds office (excluding myself of course), theres Alf Garnet, whose been real busy this week with the kiln crash and is also refusing to pay his council tax increase this year which falls above the rate of inflation in sympathy with many other old biddies who are approaching retirement or have retired.

on this picture he can be found on the cover of this months "bling" magazine, this make pictures into magazine covers website is great fun, thankyou Shadow.

Incidentally it can be found by clicking here.

Next is Father Bell who is really in need of a new pseudonym because he has in fact got many girlfriends on the go at once, hence he is pictured on this months "Style" mag, he aint however too hot at snooker since the team he is captain of keep losing and he comes out with a whole heap of pathetic excuses such has substandard lighting, yellow balls being the wrong shade of yellow and the opponents coughing at inconvenient moments.

moving to the bottom right is the infamous Oswald Cobblepot who can be seem moddelling a pair of deely boppers for this months "MOdelling" magazine, he is a enthusiastic member of the "get rich quick" scheme called Amway and is scheduled for a major him operation around the middle of this year.

Following the operation he will be in effect a cyborg, part man part machine and his hip will come with those little grease nipples which can be plugged into those little straws at the end of WD40 cans.

Finally that brings me to Dolph our manager and leader, someone we all look up to in times of trouble and go to for advice like the native indians would confide in their tribal elders, he is very romantic and when a lady at the hotel he was staying at the other day came to him and told him there wasnt a single hair on her body he nearly choked on the tea he was drinking which splurted out of his mouth and all over his breakfast.

Dolph is pictured on the cover of this months "Bride" magazine and is today on an important mission away from our site though Alf admits he aint too sure what the mission is.

Well I hope that gives you a better picture of the men I work with here in the lost world office, I am feeling okay today, like the sun is coming out after a long storm, I did quite a bit of praying last night and this morning.

Oswald Cobblepots, 21 year old daughter Kirsty has been asking her dad about me and her dad has told her he would love for me to become his son in law rather than that idiot she is knocking about with now.

Oswald will soon be in hospital for his cyborg hip op and ill be visiting him with Luke of course, oh yes and Luke has been to the cinema today with his school as part of a privelidge of doing so well in his school report.

Well I guess thats it for now, ill see you all tommorow

Lighting THe KIln

Been in the kiln again which is being relit after the major kiln crash, in this picture you can just make out one of our kiln burners lighting the jets as the bricks moves towards him.
The kiln burners are well paid and they wear these special suits which keep the occupier cool despite the surrounding temperature, but they are advised to only stay about 20 minutes max in the hottest areas.
Its been quite an oportunity for me to see the whole process and to understand the implications of a kiln crash.
Feel much better today and last night I slept so well, been writing a bit of The Jungle Telegraph Issue No23 this morning because due to the strong winds there hasnt been that many wagons, this Friday I might go to AA and take JMD to make up for what I did on Monday.
Harry Potter has sent me loads of excellent jokes, one in particular I thought was hillarious
A young couple wanted to join the church, the pastor told them, 'We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.'
The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church.
When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed. 'You are back so soon... Is there a problem?' the pastor inquired.
'We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.' The young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened.
'Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, Prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off Carnal Thoughts. One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,' admitted the man, shamefacedly.
The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, 'You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.'
'We know.' said the young man, hanging his head,
'We're not welcome at Homebase either.'
Well I have been feeling so weird just lately, one minute depressed, the next on top of the world, then sudden brief flases of anger followed by total serenity, I keep forgetting things and well my minds just all over the place.
I cant seem to meditate very well neither, my mind feels really active if I try, I guess I just dont know whats going on with me lately but I cant stop thinking of Veras, I know its sad and I hardly know the girl really.
Its quite embarrassing to admit even in this blog, a bit like the shame associated with a step four and I feel like a hopeless schoolkid, this is what I was affraid of getting all obsessed, well like they say in AA this too shall pass

Resentment

You gotta feel sorry for these poor little duckies.
Well I went completely mad last night, JMD texted me just before I left work that he wanted to go to AA and well I thought I just want a night of peace without having to cringe if he says something wrong, for example last week he blurted out "what the f*** is he on now" after one of our members was sharing that he had been sober some 80 days but also has some slight speech impediment.
This resulted in everyone turning round giving looks that could stop a clock and I thought I just cant handle it all this week so I conveniently "forgot" about the text and went to AA on my own.
When I got there I was asked by Yoda & THe Author where my mate was so I told them about my dilemma and the possibility of disruption to the meeting, I was then given the third degree by Yoda that it was not up to me to be judge and jury for JMD and if he asked to come I should have brought him regardless.
I let it ride and didnt bite back feeling now quite guilty about ignoring JMDs text but as an aside I did for the first time hold hands with Veras while performing the serenity prayer but was too busy "on one" by this time and complaining to a bemused "Future Rugby Player" about my predicament to feel any electricity between us.
Anyway on my way home I phoned and apologised to JMD about not picking him up pretending of couse that I had just found his text, he was okay about it and was watching a DVD I lent him on Sunday.
Anyway I texted Yoda to say I had apologised and he texted me back "Should think you have ya lousy f*cker", this left me in a really bad mood, so when I got home I sought out my sponsor on MSN telling him the story above and that I wasnt going to AA anymore.
Needless to say he ended up phoning me and calming me down, he said I hid behind computers too much and needed more self confidence, adding that not everything in life falls into ones and zeroes, i.e. black and white.
But I had built up a huge resentment over nothing really, yes I admit now I should of took JMD or at least explained to him to behave himself at meetings but its not easy when we were oblivion mates from 1990 until 2004 when I burned out.
I guess I am not a tibettan monk yet, but its progress not perfection, hey I feel better with that lot off my chest.
As a result of my mad episode I didnt sleep well last night and didnt feel too great this morning having thrown up one in the night, then I get to work this morning and Alf says half jokingly "you are not back on the pop again"

Does This Bring Back Any Memories?

Does this bring back any memories? asked my boss, Dolph when he emailed me this picture this morning.
No, I said, I rarely made it as far as the toilet in my drunken days more likely pee on the seat where I was sat.
I dreamt last night very vividly I was back drinking again and I was back at my old works, the dream centred around that awful feeling when you come round feeling groggy and having wet yourself, I like to think that these dreams are possible futures if I ever dare to become complacent.
I have had a good weekend, Sunday morning me and Luke got up early and went out on Sh*tehawk my aging Kawasaki GPX250R, we drove over the hills near where I live and out into the country to watch Lukes little brother Stig playing football at Kirkheaton, which he drew 4 all.
It was a good start to a good day and luckily so far the hurricane predicted seems to have missed us up here in Yorkshire and hit the southern parts of the UK, anyway spring is approaching now and I have booked Easter off as a holiday which it seems I will spend some time decorating my bedroom and a couple of nights camping.

The kiln crash is still causing Alf to be a bit niggly today and I got the oportunity to walk right into it armed with a camera.
The place here where I am stood is normally about 1000 degrees centigrade, of course it was substantially cooler today.
Apparently the crash was caused by a piece of angle iron which had fallen down behind the entrance door and was catching the bricks causing them to topple over on to the preceding car.
This led to a domino effect and soon the cars ground to a halt.
This means we have lost about a weeks production or some 500,000 bricks which equates approximately to some £250,000 since it takes 2 days to cool the kiln, 3 days to clear it and another 2 days getting it fired up again.
Last week it was a record week for sales, shifting 477,600 bricks, the highest so far in 2008 whereas we only made 408,700 meaning for the first week in 2008 we took off stock, the top 10 drivers list looks like this now for the month of March
Mv Sept Position Name Quantity
▲ 5 1 Harry Potter 39,664
▲ 4 2 Keith Chicken 35,112
▲ 30 3 Alan Titsmarsh 30,868
▲ 6 4 Tim Terapin 28,828
▼ 2 5 Stumpy 27,472
>> NE 6 Dicky 19,612
▲ 40 7 Wigan 16,896
▲ 10 8 Bruce Forcythe 13,777
▲ 11 9 Dino Archers 11,520
>> NE 10 DX05AWF / Ben 10,848
Well tonights AA night again, it soon comes round again, incidentally my sponsor is chiming with his computer, MSN messenger has given him a new leese of life and I have been trying to get him to get Veras's addie for me.
I still havent gone to the new Friday meeting, mainly because Luke comes to see me then and I just dont feel right dissapearing off for the evening, well Ill tell you all about AA tonight, tommorow, see you then

The New Bradley Telegraph

The first issue of "The Bradley Telegraph" is here at last and not having to pass through Dolphs tough censoring process since it is not directed at the occupants of the Lost World means I can write more freely in here.

So well its Friday at last here at the lost world and we have been hit with a kiln crash which means we may loose a weeks production as the kiln is turned off, since it takes 2 to 3 days to cool sufficiently for people to go in and fix the rails and then another 2-3 days for it to warm up again.

As a result of all this Alf our assistant manager didnt sleep very well last night and strangely neither did I with him tossing and turning all night, only joking we dont sleep in the same bed really.

I was at my sponsors house JMSS, setting up his internet connection which he has got free from some phone deal, he is not very computer literate so I had to give him a crash couse in everything from word to email sending to instant messaging.

By the time I got back home and took Miss Boley & Mr Bodie for a walk it was late but my mind was still awake having a double dose of computers throughout the day and as a result it took me a while to get to sleep.

It has been forecast that we will be hit by hurricane force winds this weekend which is quite scary, the last hurricane I remember was 1989/90 when I was riding the 47 miles from York to Huddersfield on my then Yamaha RD350LC and boy that was scary, not something I would care to repeat.

Anyway I am glad its weekend and Ill see you guys on Monday

Date For 3 Peaks 2008

Ive got a date set for our annual 3 peaks walk which last year raised in excess of £2000 for the McMillan Nurses and was organised by Victor Meldrew at The Lost World.
I have created the sponsor forms ready for the event which will take place this year on Sunday 4th May in aid of the county Air Ambulance.
You can see my coverage of last years event by clicking here which I used the theme of "The Lord Of The Rings" to give substance to the Story
The journey is some 24.5 miles and takes us over the peaks of three Yorkshire Mountains, Pen-y-ghent, Inglebrough and Whernside.
Last year the weather was terrible and I was accompanied by Luke and Buttercup who made it round in 10 1/2 hours, this year my party will consist of Rimmer (The Ice Queens younger brother and Lukes Uncle), Stig, Buttercup and Luke.
I have started work on The Bradley Telegraph at last but it will be hard to write it without getting sued or beat up, still no publicity is bad publicity isnt it.
I have booked both Easter and Spring Bank off as holidays, Easter I plan to do a bit of local camping plus take my dad out for a day here and there but Spring Bank I would like to visit Reighton Sands again.
Summer Holiday there is quite a number of us going to Skipsea to do a follow up to my most visited story yet on the web, called Sleighing The Demon which should be great fun.

Well thats my summer planned out, today is great, my life is great and last night I received an email from someone inviting me to become their "friend", which after following the link to accept sent me on a wild goose chase creating a "bebo" site which then invited loads of other people to become my friends (well I admit it I was bored) anyway you can now see my result by clicking here.

Oswald Cobblepot Goes As Mr Funny

Well its another one of them days here at the Lost World, Buzz Lightyear our salesman is annoying our boss by buzzing about in his office, we have 18.6 million bricks in our yard now so its beggining to look like we might need to shift some to other yards soon or we wont be able to move.
Whoopie Goldberg, a lady from Ghana who is one of our accountants invited me for afternoon tea and scones the other day, I suggested she should come camping with us at Dears Foot during the iminent Easter Holiday.
Well we have settled to go for a walk with Luke and Stig one week on Saturday near Echo Beach, she is taking her 4 year old son, and I should be able to give her a good...
...interview
Following the phenomenal success of Jungle Telegraph Issue 22 I am already planning the next edition and the interview has already come back to me, plus Harry Potter (who is this months No2 as I speak) has sent me loads of jokes, I also have a solicitors letter from Father Bell moaning about "defamation of character"
Well here is the March Top Ten;
Mv Sept Position Name Quantity
▲ 4 1 Keith Chicken 35,112
▲ 5 2 Harry Potter 21,232
▲ 30 3 Alan Douglas 20,792
>> NE 4 DX05AWF / Ben 10,848
>> NE 5 X854JCS / Ralinson 10,848
▲ 12 6 Piggys Friend 10,396
▼ 3 7 Shadrack 10,396
▼ 6 8 Tim Terapin 10,396
>> NE 9 NK56AUM / Phillips 9,984
>> NE 10 X153WAU / A Slinger 9,984
I am feeling quite good at the moment, really serene, even when a drivers keep coming into the sales reception without the correct PPE (Personal Protection Equiptment).
I am supposed to keep telling them or I get complained at by my assistant boss, Alf, so I have decided to stick a sign on my forehead saying "CAN DRIVERS PLEASE WEAR HI-VIZ, HAT & GLASSES".
Its crazy really Health and Safety, I mean I know the Americans have started blowing up satalites in orbit but surely the chances of some debri hitting a driver loading at the lost world are really pretty slim.
Of course Victor Meldrew says the purpose of safety glasses is to protect us from flying buttons from Naks overalls since he swallowed a Wok the other day, see Jungle Telegraph Issue 22 for more details, well I guess Ill see you guys and girls tommorow for more aimless twaddle.
Oh Blimey, the picture is our own Oswald Cobblepot dressed as Mr Funny, for the pantomine which is showing right now...

Miss Boley is 50

Me, Luke, Mr Bodie and Miss Boley in "Tram Track Woods" on Sunday 2nd March 2008, Photo taken by Stig.

I took Miss boley to the vets for the final time last night to get her stitches taken out, I am glad that little episode is over its awkward juggling work and unpredictable journeys from Leeds on the M62 to arrive at the vets at a specified time.

Miss Boley according to the conversion factors here is being 7 calendar years equivelent to a human of 50, whereas Mr Bodie is about 1 calendar year and being somewhat lighter than Miss Bolie equivelent to 15, which sounds about right, so he is the human equivelent to a adolecence of "hoody" age whose hobby is hanging round telephone boxes.

After the vets I took JMD666 to my Monday AA meeting and The Posh ladys special guest speaker was a member of the Proclaimers, at least he looked like it, when JMD comes no one talks to me, I dont think the AA clique appreciate JMDs lack of thought before he says something, but he did for the first time hold hands in the circle at the end when we recited the serenity prayer.

Veras spoke out in the feedback from the floor after Mr Proclaimer had finished and said something which could have been aimed directly at me, she said of she acted on her fear all the time she would never leave the house.

I guess thats what I am doing, I am scarred of a relationship arnt I, I am scared of even asking her, I am still full of fear so I take the easiest route all the time dont I.

Veras didnt even say "hello" to me last night, probably because JMD was next to me and you can almost feel his denial, on our way back to Bradley I laughed with him as he did what comes best, taking the p*ss but deep down I know he is on a completely different wavelength from me.

If JMD does seccumb to the dark side again it will probably be a permanent last journey to meet his maker who he claims adamantly does not exist.

But I am not judge and jury, if he asks to come with me I will obige after all that is the 12th step which I am following without question.

After the meeting I had that deep sickly feeling, I really do feel something for Veras but I am trying to bury it, I dont like feeling vulnerable, anyway I see my sponsor on THursday so Ill discuss it more deeply with him.

See you tommorow

Jungle Telegraph Issue No 22

Well another month and another weekend have whizzed by which means its time for another Jungle Telegraph, our infamous newsletter here at the lost world which will soon be joined by The Bradley Telegraph which will be news from round where I live and will be every 3 months.
Anyway if you would like to read Issue 22 you can download it in word format by clicking here
Had the usual hectic weekend, Luke and Stig came as usual and I also saw my old friend Mr Picker Packer who has found hiself yet another place to live, a single room in a shared mansion for £55 per week. He was the guy who went on Holiday with us to Wales last June when it wouldnt stop raining, I also saw my other friend JMD who is still sober and has promised to accompany me to AA tonight.
Sunday me, Luke, Stig, Miss Boley and Mr Bodie went up to some woods at the top of my road where I live and took a load of pictures and videos, the flowers are just coming up and I teased Luke that he used to call Bluebells, "Jinglebells" when he was quite young.
Last night I got a call from my sponsor JMSS, who was looking for an old computer, of course I had an old workhorse from yesteryear with about 1GHz Pentium III processor which I can give him, he has got internet as part of a special deal for his phone.
I said in my last post I was losing interest in Veras, well if something was going to happen there it would have by now, I realise I got a full life already with my aging parents and my son at weekends, maybe when Luke decides to abandon me for his friends I might start going to more meetings and opening myself up for a relationship.
I reckon my Higher Power was telling me my time aint right, but I often wonder if it will ever be right, these things just happen dont they, and I dont want my mind getting obsessive, it dont do me no good.
For mothers day yesterday I got my mum a card, some chocolates and 20 hand carved wooden roses I found on my travels round town on Saturday, well I guess Ill leave it there for now, and look forward to my meeting tonight with JMD