The Ice Road To The Monastery

I have grown distant and far away just lately from my blog, just once per week now I venture on to these pages, I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading just lately, particularily about “Fermats Last Theorum” with a book of the same name by Simon Singh.
Of course I didn’t understand a word about this mathematical world, I mean modular forms and elliptic curves being matched to them?
It was way above my head and got me to thinking other than mankind’s curiosity who needs to ever know if we can find Pythagorean triples of whole number solutions to Pythagoras theorem but in higher powers?
This is fermats last equation
x^n + y^n = z^n where n>2 and it states there are no whole numbers for x,y and z which satisfys it when n is a whole number greater than two
But all the mathematical training was put to good use in designing our captain Bob, a spreadsheet which would show him in a coloured traffic light sort of way which categories of our spending are going over budget.
I enjoyed making it and learned a few things making multiple cells change colour dependant on the proportion of our spending was close to the allocated budget for that month in a matrix with months against categories.
It was quite challenging and miles more practical tool than what Andrew Miles had done solving that simple equation with 200 pages of mathematics that maybe less that one millionth of the population could understand.
Well its Friday night and once again I am sat in my bedroom with Luke’s cousin and Dwain Dibbly’s son Darth Popple while Luke has gone to “The society” in town and has just sent me a text saying he will ring me when he wants picking up.
I have just took the dogs round the very muddy field and (of course) said my prayers, I have also started reading “Daily Reflections” again, its very enlightening but the point I picked up on is I want to be in control still too much.
I said that tonight in the field while watching the traffic in the valley below, I asked [My HP] once again that he take back control of my life, I want to be once again like a leaf in the wind, you know the way I felt a few years back in early sobriety.
I also thought about this silly recession, it only seems to be in the media and politicians heads and we are bombarded with it day in day out, so then it gets in our heads, but I myself am much better off than I was in the summer because of the drop in the price of diesel.
Another thing I noticed on my way home was a church in Dewsbury had the sign “Recession! God never devalues you!”, you just know deep down in your mind life is a journey, and you have two choices, either, enjoy the ride or don’t.
I want the latter, it is merely a state of mind weather your cup is half full or half empty.
This week at The Monastery we took out of the gates just shy of three quarters of a million bricks so despite the recession we are still doing okay and our best selling brick is the “Abbey” blend in fact a very popular pub up the road from my house is built out of them.
Moving nearly 2000 tons of bricks were jobs given over to the men known as The Ice Road truckers, in fact such is the legendary status of these truckers that our sub manager Shandy Pants has had to invest in a small gritter.
Keith Chicken is riding it the lead but it’s just a snapshot since all the top three have at one time this week held the top spot.
I would say all of the top three are “happy” sort of blokes, Keith Chicken always has a smile on his face when he comes in out of the cold to collect his tickets and tells us all how he would solve all the worlds problems if he was in charge.
Harry Potter the husband of my assistant Betty who has been absent most of this week, and Burty Bassett a guy who always seems deep in thought but more often than not tells me something that gets me laughing

Mv Dec Jan Driver SumOftotal
▲ 2 1 Keith Chicken 93564
▲ 7 2 Burty Basset 91820
▼ 1 3 Harry Potter 83168
The next three are very clandestine, men of honour, I reckon if we were living many years in the past they would be noble knights or fearless gladiators, you got to remember only a couple of loads separates these guys from the happy blokes above
▼ 3 4 Orville 64866
▲ 79 5 Flip Flop 62376
▲ 18 6 Donkey Daz 61460
I said I wouldn’t mention flying, anyway moving swiftly along are the next 5, two of these include the kick boxing brothers from Barnsley, I can never tell them apart, I am forever mistaking Van Damn for Jackie Chan.
Obiwan is very much like the real star wars Obiwan but maybe a little less gracious, but I always enjoy his visits from the wisdom they award me.
Then theres Rodney and Dizzy both subjects of The Crowman, Rodney managed to get totally stuck just before Christmas and had to be rescued by Dennis The Dumper and Thomas The Tank Engine, but hes doing a little better than he did last month climbing from No16 to No9 he is certainly moving in the right direction.
▲ 12 7 Van Damn 61132
▲ 17 8 Dizzy 61100
▲ 16 9 Rodney 51980
▼ 6 10 Obiwan 45652
▼ 4 11 Jackie Chan 41584
A climb from No 94 to No 9 is another high climber, I think he is that French bloke who cant understand English and Betty says I should just sign his damn piece of paper then dump the copy he spends an eternity writing unceremoniously in the bin.
Then there is a great Philosopher The Crowman, who knows a lot, some reckon he is an angel sent by God to be amongst us, he is so kind and thoughtful, he one gave a tenner one Christmas just for being on despatch at The Lost World.
Wurzel who was right up to before Christmas a top ten player has fallen yet further, in days of old he was a big player in The Jungle Telegraph in days of old when Diesel was expensive and I was hopelessly lost at The Lost World.
▼ 11 12 Simon (D&A) FJ57NCE 31188
▼ 5 13 The Crowman 31188
>> NE 14 FJ57FZM 31188
▲ 94 15 KV52KOV 31188
▼ 9 16 Wurzel 30736
The remainder of the Top Thirty is as follows, the next three with the “COD” suffix are the guys from Scotland where men are men and sheep are worried as one of them said to me the other day
>> NE 17 Ray M66COD 24408
>> NE 18 Stevie P70COD 24408
>> NE 19 Stuart P60COD 24408
>> NE 20 Del-boy SN37BNL 24408
>> NE 21 Joe P90COD 23504
>> NE 22 Brown C8RMX 22600
▲ 46 23 Wearing W814BOV 21696
>> NE 24 John SV05FHX 21244
>> NE 25 Mick P10COD 21244
>> NE 26 DX56CVF 20792
>> NE 27 FJ57SVT 20792
>> NE 28 BX54OVU 20792
>> NE 29 Graham FJ57FZM 20792
>> NE 30 FJ06KFD 20340
Way down in the wilderness of the bottom of the charts sits
>> NE 103 FJ08OBT 10396
▼ 19 104 The Driver Previously Known As 10396
>> NE 105 Weary Willie 10396
No one knows what has happened to him, Harry Potter did phone me today to ask for his phone number but strangely almost poetically like the little man himself who has to operate his huge truck on a booster cushion could not be found anywhere.
“The Driver Previously Known As”, whisper it “Stumpy” has fallen from No19 to No104, some reckon he has gone back to his old job as the lumberjack over at the mushroom farm in York
So who is at the bottom then?
▼ 152 170 Dave YK51EJV 45
>> NE 171 Mick M18MSR 6
>> NE 172 Carr YN56OAU 4
Well way down at No170 is good old Dave who has collected just 45 bricks but even he totally trumps the two guys at No171 and 172.
I feel quite at home now at The Monastery, I do hope it carries on operating, its hard to feel safe anywhere though in broke Britain with jobs going all over the place and the pound sinking like well Stumpy’s chart position.
But we have a new guy in charge in America and everyone is looking at him to save us all, either that or we will all end up living in tents in the woods and hunting rabbits, a way of life that I have had at least a bit of practise at.
Well then here’s to another weekend and I still haven’t forgotten those questions Molly!